Actually, I was thinking that people would be interested in a lot more sexual fulfilment than just banging away for a feeble spark. There is much joy to be had, so much that people will stop you on the street to ask you how you can be so happy. Men will devour your woman and women will kill her with their jealous looks, while they look at you wistfully.

We are talking happiness. Joy. Fulfilment. Great sex is one of the steps towards that.

But I am disappointed that nobody wants to know these things. A simple comment – “Tell me more!”  would open up a world of tricks to make life fulfilling.

I guess, I’ll just have to wait, huh?

Arjav.

Christian theology makes subtle references to sex as the original sin. I was born into an orthodox Christian family and if there is anything I learnt about Christianity is that you can intepret the word of God in as many ways possible in order to induce a sense of guilt and shame in your listener. If you fail, then you must spend more time with the clergy. Today I wonder how a doctrine that pre-supposes the worthlessness of the individual elicits loyalty. In any other setting, say the school, office, government offices, public spaces  – anywhere – you would be the first to flex your muscles at anyone who tells you that you are worthless and absolutely incapable of functioning without outside help. But in a church, you bow your head reverently and contemplate on all the different ways you have violated a sacred code of ethics.

Sadly, Jesus Christ became a matyr of one of the best executed political conspiracies in history.

Jesus Christ never married. His mother knew no man. He is called the son of Joseph although Joseph had no role to play in Jesus’ conception. Sex and the orgasm, therefore plays a huge role in the development of Christianity. Do not enjoy yourself. It is a sin. If you do, you shall be punished with death. But I love you so much that I’ll punish my son instead of you for everytime that you’ve enjoyed yourself.

It is hard to argue with the appeal of this logic.

The Orgasm, therefore, was banished from the house of the Living God - at least officially - until it became clear that the general population cannot be vaccinated against the warm feelings of love and comfort that come from being close to someone desirable. Rather than lose the masses with rules of sin, it seemed prudent to allow sex within the context of marriage and ONLY with the intention to procreate. Hmm. So if you have three children, you were allowed to have about ten orgasms – with six extra ones thrown in there in case you missed the target.

I do not know anything about Islam other than the fact that they are not as controlling of the urges. They recommend moderation, which is good, and loyalty, which is also very good. My dear muslim brothers, please enlighten me about the status of the Orgasm in the Islamic context.

The Hindus are a motely crowd of such diverse thinkers, it would be hard to come up with an original idea about sex and the orgasm that hasn’t already been written down in the ancient texts. I believe that the Hindus were more inclined to live and let live until somebody decided to control the crowds. With it came the notion of being impure when the woman is menstruating – so much so that she must quarter outside the house and not be seen until she is clean again. Also the ideas that sex and the orgasm somehow interfere with the sanctity of life that one must refrain from it more often than not. The days that you were allowed to have sex, had to be carefully scheduled after consulting the astrologer, the priest and your wife. Finding a date that was suitable to all must have been a challenge.

What I am driving at is that every culture has a innate tendency to curb healthy sexual expression. I am not sure if it is with the intention of forcing people to bing on their reproductive juices or if there is some benefit to living with a constipated libido. (I must add that forced sex, physical and emotional abuse or the violation of privacy in the process of achieving an orgasm is a crime. That must be restrained)

Moderation is the keyword. Everything in the right amounts, without shame or guilt. Doesn’t that sound like a smooth happy life? Sex in moderation without guilt or force is a very good way to live, in my opinion. The orgasm is a good thing to experience – like fresh mountain air, the fragrance of spring flowers, the taste a juicy watermelon, the sound of an angel choir…

There is no other explanation for why there is so much suppression of good feelings. In every age, in every society, there is a suppression of some sort and it always somehow ends up with an unfulfilling sex life. The venerable orgasm is always out of reach.

21st century sensibilities does not always condemn sex. Instead it offers so many ways to express your sexuality, you end up moving from one form to another in the hopes that you fill find the ultimate orgasm. What you end up with is a series of orgasms that you feel could have been better. Instead of enjoying it, you are unsatisfied. And then there is the problem of the one-horned rhino – you want to have sex with someone and that person doesn’t want to be anywhere near you. The chances of being stuck without a real orgasm because you can’t find a partner is far greater now than it was in a more match-making-driven world.

I would be remiss if I don’t talk about sex crimes. The orgasm for the sex-offender is directly proportional to the amount of grief that can be caused. I wouldn’t call that sexual pleasure at all. There is nothing sexual about it. It is just plain evil.

I’m hoping that by now you can see that there is something wrong with the social engine. Perhaps we can lay a finger on it in the near future. For now all we can hope to do is to enjoy the sex we can get by giving all we have got. Give without looking to receive and you shall receive the greatest gift of all. After all a really good orgasm is one where it still tingles a week after you’ve had it and you are not even remotely hungry for another one. Such an orgasm can only come if you truly love someone.

May we all find that kind of love and live to talk about those kinds of orgasms.

Sexual pleasure is such a thing that we cannot describe it. It is so intense, so personal, so incredibly fabulous, that it we have a moral obligation to see if have the correct attitudes towards it. After all, nothing tells you more about an individual than when they are seeking and giving sexual pleasure. I am even tempted to say that our sexuality is the one thing that we can study which leads directly to the answers we seek: Who are we? Where did we come from? What are we supposed to do? Why am I suffering so much?

The Kamasutra of Vatsayana described only the physical attributes, the chemistry and the practice of sex. It does not talk about the nature of Kama – sexual desire. It also offers us no answers to some of our secret questions on our sex lives, especially when it no longer fulfills us.

Sexuality is not the penis thrusting inside a lubricated sheath (vagina, hand, mouth, anus etc.), or a stimulation of the clitoris, vagina and G-spot. It is also not in the attention given to breasts, hips, hair, hands, feet, muscles, shapes, fragrances or colors. It is a cognitive process that seeks, evaluates, indulges and profits from pleasure. That pleasure is mult-pronged. Sexuality is multi-dimensional. Often there are many dimensions of the sexual self that is unfulfilled. That starvation distorts our world view and shows up as irrational behaviour, distress, aggression and destruction. In the end, the way to solve the world’s unhappiness problem is to provide every single individual with a full serving of pleasure, leaving no prong unfulfilled, no dimension empty.

I shall walk you through the six laws  and show you how you can release yourself from your unhappiness and be free.

PS: I strongly oppose all sex crimes. This blog is for level-headed people to understand the cognitive part of their sexuality and prepare them to deal with psychopaths who roam the earth preying on children or anyone who can be exploited.

The Six Laws of Sex.

(c) Arjav. Do not plagiarize